Stay Training in December

December…time to STAY TRAINING.

Is a time for holiday parties and New Year’s resolutions along with stupid people everywhere with opinions that run freely like liquor at an open bar.

Inspiration can come from anywhere. Recently I had a friend remind me of what people can say to you during the grieving process.  Unfortunately, these people can offer unsolicited advice in a variety of settings and on a plethora of topics surrounding your life.  That gave grounds to write this blog coupled with the motivational speech I recently heard from Conor McGregor.

‘There is no telling what I can do.”- Conor Mcgregor

Conor Mcgregor an Irish professional mixed martial artist who is currently signed to the Ultimate Fighting Championship said these words in an interview.  Although I never met him, I love his confidence and work ethic.  He has given other interviews that talk about how hard he works at his craft and how he stays training even through the festivities of the holidays ahead.  I think this is the important thing we need to remember.  Together with Conor, we need to stay training through the upcoming months.  So if you are going through the grieving process, a divorce, or wondering who you are and what your purpose is, don’t backslide now.


You can ease up just a little, but you can’t quit altogether.  You don’t have time to let your muscles get soft now.  It’s a requirement to stay in shape. You need to be ready.  You need to be prepared for the smack talk that comes your way this season.  You know what I am talking about.  The negative careless words people throw at you, like a sneaky sucker punch you didn’t see coming.  When you have had a loss; “Well heaven needed another angel, you can have more, she/he is in a better place.  When you are divorced, “I bet you are not the relationship type”. When you are struggling to find yourself, you need a boyfriend, you should just____, why don’t you take a class, hobby”… fill in the blank.

People will say anything and most of the time they mean well, but ultimately you are left to deal with the bruises from the punches that come your way.

How will you defend yourself this season?

Let me tell you what I have done for the past 11 years since the day I heard the words

“Well, you can still have more kids.”

December 6th is my birthday.

December 7th is Olivia’s birthday.

December 8th was the day Olivia died.

So this time of year is laced with mixed emotions.  In the past 11 years, I know not to engage in anything baby because sometimes it can wreck me emotionally.  To stay off that dark path I focus more on the mother a little girl would want me to be.  Consequently, Olivia would be 11 this year and that is definitely the time when girls start to become aware of hair makeup and the way you dress.  At least the kids I teach are noticing.

Serendipitously after Olivia passed away my aunt and I came to a makeup counter where a famous makeup artist (for top models) was temporarily stationed to assist in makeup and he was all too ready to make me over.  I remember it like it was yesterday, because as hard as he tried ,no amount of bronzer could apply color to my pale white mourning face.  But despite the outcome a thought punched through my sadness and reminded me that no matter what, I needed to take care of myself.

And that has been a yearly tradition in my life.

That is to say, December  is time to steel myself from the sucker punches that come my way and focus on my rebirth instead of Olivia’s death.  I choose to make the month about taking care of myself mentally, physically while adding some internal training to my daily life.    I was the only one going to pull myself from the peat bog. I was not about to be another human cadaver that has been naturally mummified by gloom.

As a result, I took what I had, used it to my advantage, and created a motivational action that I could do to side step my sorrow, swing for the fences, and give it everything I’ve got in the final seconds of the year.

And that is what I am doing right now.  I am getting ready to emerge a new person in 2017.  I am practicing daily affirmations to boost my self-confidence.  I am taking care of myself.  I got my hair done professionally which is a challenge to do on a tight budget.  I got my eyebrows waxed.  I watch videos that help me stay current on different makeup trends thanks to Patrick Starr, and I use Pinterest to get me dressed in the morning. To put it differently, I am in training.  I am in a rigorous “ME” type training that will prevent melancholy promote the butterfly guard, keeping the opponent on the inside where I can see her.

For this reason, I had to knock out some things in my life that were blocking me from my future success as a beautiful life coaching person that I want to become.  In order to give myself more me time I now order my groceries online and I tapped out of doing anyone else’s laundry.

All of these actions lead to a stronger and healthier me.  Thus the next time someone tries to put me in a clinch, and you know they will, I’m ready for a counter attack. Because in the words of Mr. McGregor, “I don’t go in there to show up, I go in there to knock ‘im out.”  Just like in life, I am not meant to hang out to be discovered like the peat bog cadavers.  I am meant to shine like beaded sweat on a UFC fighter’s forehead, out in front where everybody can see!

Generally speaking, people can be cruel and this month I want you to be ready to…

Sprawl and Brawl, avoid a takedown, stand and strike back.  It doesn’t matter what weight class you are in, this season be ready no matter where you are in your training. 

Remember, .your success to recover may make people feel uncomfortable and that is when you have to become a UFC fighting champion. People will notice the change you are making during your personal training.  Your gain will prompt them to keep you in a state of victimhood because it suits them to be your hero.

Prevent a level change with some practiced canned phrases and quick comebacks

If someone tries to take you down verbally try one of these UFC moves.




This is your life too.

Become your own UFC fighter.

TRY some of these UFC moves.

  1. Dodge and weave.

Stupid questions and statements can be handled by changing the subject.

  1. Answer jab for jab.

Believe if you are asked something that is meant to hurt you, the door is opened  to do the same.

  1. Walk away.

Every fight is not worth the cost of cauliflower ear you get from listening.

  1. Stay confident and disciplined.

Hold your gaze on the person who just said something stupid, say nothing, and wait for their move.  I guarantee you they will either retract their own statement or squirm a little.

When you have had a loss; “Well heaven needed another angel, you can have more, she/he is in a better place. Walk away.

When you are divorced/divorcing, “I bet you are not the relationship type”. Answer jab for jab. 

When you are struggling to find yourself, you need a boyfriend; you should just____, why don’t you take a class?” Dodge and weave

Stay tough, stay focused, stay training and Stay motivated.


Defeat is the secret ingredient to success!
Defeat is the secret ingredient to success!

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