Recently I did a live broadcast on Facebook about fear. This was an extremely important post for me as I not only talked about my fear of claustrophobia but at the same time I was creating a video and going live which was another fear of mine. When we have fear, there is a belief about something that we find dangerous, painful or threatening. Beliefs are something we have created while we were young and discovered the world through our parent’s eyes. The adults that we looked up to helped us navigate the world but during the journey, they may have accidentally impressed some of their own fears in us. Unknowingly, we have taken those fears to mean something in our own lives although they may have been unfounded. For example, when we were cavemen it was important to have fear of things that could hurt you. I would imagine the lessons of fear were passed down from generation to generation. That was probably how we were kept alive. Now the fears we passed down may also be of use to us, in my case I have a healthy fear of electricity. I put my hand where is didn’t belong, got shocked, and so I teach my son that same healthy fear. Consequently, there are other fears that have no basis and are just beliefs. Claustrophobia, for example, may be one of those unconfirmed fears of mine. Fear of heights may be another one I have yet to explore and will save it for another post. Both of these have been handed down from mother to daughter and then mother to son. Following my badassery event of Spelunking, I no longer chose to believe that I am claustrophobic. After sliding down into a cave with the help of my trusted guide Trey, I know that fear was something I had just borrowed from someone else. Hence my accomplishment, there is a new belief system that I choose to engage in. I believe that caving is dangerous, but I also believe that it is an adventure that can enlighten you and change your way of thinking. Fear is just a belief and I have decided to write a new script for our lives and tell a new story.
How do you tell a new story? The first way is to get over yourself and say YES. find and opportunity that has to do with a fear of yours, put yourself out there and say YES. For some of us Activators ( see Strengths Finder video) we have no problem saying yes and then finding out what happens later. But for some of you saying YES may be the hardest part. You may feel you need more information or time to decide. This is when you will need an accountability partner.
If you have someone to help coach you then overcoming your fear is easy. Find a partner to help you or a life coach like me, to gently ease you into overcoming your fear. If easing you into it won’t help you, let me know and I will gently push you. Either way, say yes, have a partner to guide you through the process and put yourself out there.
Putting yourself out there is not easy either, but then again how badly do you want to overcome your fear? In the video, I talked about writing a check with my mouth that my but had to cash. What I mean by that is put yourself out front, if you force yourself into a leader position you will understand that people are relying on you. For example, when you are on a plane and you sit in the roomy section of the exit row the flight attendant asks you specifically if you are willing to assist in the event of an emergency. The people sitting there are writing a check with their verbal Yes that their but needs to cash. Because in an emergency I want to know that the badass sitting there is going to guide us out of the plane if necessary. So if you put yourself in a leadership role and you volunteer yourself to be the person of authority and direction in the room, then you can overcome your fears a little easier knowing that someone is counting on you.
What is the Benefit of overcoming all you fears? The first benefit is that you get to rewrite your story. You become more of an individual that no longer buys into the story you have been handed down for generations. As you retell your story it reshapes who you are and then, can impact the relationships you have with others. Think about what I am saying here. I just rewrote my story and by doing so I am sending out videos, Instagram photos, and a blog post all of which will inspire someone. It may only be one person that gets motivated, but that person will encourage others around them. You never know who is really watching what you’re doing. You too can change someone for the better just by overcoming your fear and rewriting your story. You will never be able to change your past but you can alter your future by rewriting your destiny as you overcome a fear you have.
For more information on rewriting your story click here.
The second benefit to overcoming your fear is that you can make connections with like-minded people. In the world of technology often our manners are forgotten and we pay more attention to the digital hello than the person saying hi right in front of us. It is vital to humanity that we continue to stay connected personally to one another. During your guest to overcome your fears, find some like-minded people to take along with you on the journey. When I went caving our group was decided for us, but you can start a Meetup and collaborate, connect and take charge of your fear together. When you do this, you will build lasting connections with people. And who knows, maybe fall in love, find your next dream job or find wonderful people to support you in your journey. So put those cell phones down and get out there, overcome your fears together!
The last reason why overcoming your fears is so important is because it gives you a new sense of confidence. And we all need a confidence booster. The self-confidence you want to develop is internal. The confidence you boost from overcoming fears is not something anyone can take away from you. You may build confidence by material wealth although that can be fleeting, not only the wealth, but the feelings as well. When you overcome your fear, however, your feeling of accomplishment and confidence last forever. Even better you gain feelings that will lead to bigger and better things. As you overcome your fear and build self-confidence you create a building block to a foundation of success that you will want to no doubt continue to construct. I would guess once you overcome a fear the first time it will become your new favorite and you will want to challenge yourself to do it again.
So let me ask you, what are you waiting for?
Why are you still reading this? Perhaps you need a Happiness coach to help you. If that is the case go to the Happiness Coach Darlene page scroll to the bottom and select your coaching service. If you are still not convinced, connect with me on facebook to watch the replay of my live broadcast. Or, call me for a free consultation to see if I am the coach to unlock your happy and help you overcome your fears.
Whatever you do, don’t put off living a fearless happy life. We are never promised tomorrow.